Tuesday, July 8, 2014

One on One Time

We've all heard it before: the quickest way to get over someone is to find someone else. I'm guilty. I once lived by that mantra. "Oh...he tripping? Well let me call such and such to see if he wants to go out." I'd spend an evening of dinner with Lame Lance drinking until my lips were numb so I could sleep good. Better than crying over the fact that something that didn't work right? Right?
There was a period of time in my life where where I'd consider myself a slightly cold piece of clay. Huh? Let me explain.  When I say cold, I don't mean ice cold without feelings, but I could do what I needed to do to avoid serious feelings. I wasn't the type that wouldn't shed a tear, I'd cry and be sad, but not for long. So that's why I say slightly cold. As far as the clay goes...I could easily mold into what someone wanted or expected me to be. But after years of this behavior, I realized that I did not know who I was. I had never taken the time to get to know me.
God got my attention after a horrible end to a relationship. I realized that I needed one on one time with myself and God as well. I wasn't sad after that relationship at all. I had a sense of relief. I took the time to discover who I was. I took myself out on dates, took long walks, and developed a pattern. I remember being at home on a Friday night and being perfectly fine with that. I remember saying no to dinner dates.  I remember spending time with my family. I remember thinking about what I really wanted in a mate and how I could compliment him. I surrounded myself with the wisdom of older Christian women and read self-help books. Before I knew it, over 6 months had passed and I was happy with myself. And I was confident enough in myself that I went out on a date with someone who didn't ask right off the bat.
I say all this to say that I think that it's important to spend time alone and discover yourself. I see too many women on Facebook complaining about ending a relationship one day and then a week or two down the line, they have a new boo. Dang girl...Spend some time alone, reject some of those gentlemen callers. You will know when the right one comes along. God will send you the truth only when you are honest with yourself.

Truthfully Yours,
Kayren

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