Crossroads...

It was all good just three months ago.  I was fresh off of summer break ready to educate the youth at a new school in a new district.  I felt good about my life, my love life was still fresh and new.  My relationship with God was blossoming.  I was becoming more involved in church, and learning to have a voice for Him.  This was just three months ago!  But this week...Lord, this week...

The job in the new district that I was excited about; I low key hate it.  But dare I hate something that I asked God for?  Trust me, I know what it is like not to have a job and I am grateful to be employed.  But truthfully, Kayren is struggling.  I am struggling to believe the children are our future (without proper support from the current generation).  My Superwoman cape is slowly tattering as I feel a little defeated in the task at hand.  But my woes with the education system is not what this is about.  It's about what my woes represent.  If I am not happy in the classroom, then what Kayren will you be happy doing?

This week was odd for me.  I was downtrodden and my soul was downcast.  Being unhappy at work, just completely messed up my thoughts.  It affected my relationship.  I was moody and all I wanted to do was sleep.  This weekend I wanted to spend time and pinpoint exactly what it is that is making me feel this way.  At a dinner conversation with my beau, it came to me.  I am about to turn 32 and truthfully I feel unaccomplished.  I am about turn 32 and I am considering a career change.  I'm a little too old for all of this right?  I am 32 and technically I am a single woman (and technically means how the government classifies me).  What is my contribution in life right now?  And most importantly, again, what will I be happy doing?

Well, after a powerful sermon at church (Lamentations 3:18-24) and conversations with my loved ones, I feel better.  The situation hasn't changed but right now I am relying on what God has done in my life to encourage me to believe in the things he will do.  As things begin to unfold and manifest themselves, I welcome you on this journey with me.  Right now I am looking to my dreams and turning an ear to God so that I can get direction.  I welcome your encouragement, thoughts, and prayers on this journey.  That's all for tonight.  Thank you for allowing me to be...

Truthfully Kayren