Sunday, August 3, 2014
Letter to My Girls
I love Girlfriends. If Joan, Toni, Maya, and Lynn appear on my TV guide, you better believe I'm watching. I treasure friendships and I enjoy when Hollywood depicts them genuinely (my favorite movie is The Wood). I like to see myself along with my friends in the characters, determine who would be who. Geeky I know, but I love it. Watching Girlfriends during my summer hiatus makes me a little sad though. As much as I love it, it's totally fictitious. Here are these 4 friends who are always together whether it be for lunch, happy hour, or just at the house. All women, except Lynn, have careers and Maya manages to always be around even with a husband and a kid. How in the world is that possible?! How does this make me sad? I'll tell you!
I miss my girlfriends! We are the same age as Akil's characters but we don't even kick it like that. Who would have thought that we'd go from being together constantly, partying together, taking road trips, meeting at IHOP weekly, living together, and talking daily to the lives we have today? I know... it's the natural progression of life. We have careers (very busy ones), distances, new friends, and significant others that keep us away. Our checkins consist of group texts here and there, traffic conversations, and planned brunch/lunch/dinners. I don't see how Joan and nem managed.
But anyway, all this leads me to say: I miss you. Although days and weeks can go by without word, I think about you often. I think about our inside jokes and sayings. I think about what you would say if I needed some advice about anything. I think about our most fond memories. I thank you for being a wonderful girlfriend to me. A keeper of secrets, a voice of reasoning, a reader of bs, and a shield from shade. Yes we may bicker, but our foundation is strong. We foster new relationships with others, but there is none like you. Our relationship has meaning. I'm looking forward to our "The Wood" moments where we all meet up and reminisce about the past while looking boldly into the new phase of the future. You're forever my girlfriend. Oh...and I'm Toni by the way.
Love you like x-o,
Kayren
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
One on One Time
We've all heard it before: the quickest way to get over someone is to find someone else. I'm guilty. I once lived by that mantra. "Oh...he tripping? Well let me call such and such to see if he wants to go out." I'd spend an evening of dinner with Lame Lance drinking until my lips were numb so I could sleep good. Better than crying over the fact that something that didn't work right? Right?
There was a period of time in my life where where I'd consider myself a slightly cold piece of clay. Huh? Let me explain. When I say cold, I don't mean ice cold without feelings, but I could do what I needed to do to avoid serious feelings. I wasn't the type that wouldn't shed a tear, I'd cry and be sad, but not for long. So that's why I say slightly cold. As far as the clay goes...I could easily mold into what someone wanted or expected me to be. But after years of this behavior, I realized that I did not know who I was. I had never taken the time to get to know me.
God got my attention after a horrible end to a relationship. I realized that I needed one on one time with myself and God as well. I wasn't sad after that relationship at all. I had a sense of relief. I took the time to discover who I was. I took myself out on dates, took long walks, and developed a pattern. I remember being at home on a Friday night and being perfectly fine with that. I remember saying no to dinner dates. I remember spending time with my family. I remember thinking about what I really wanted in a mate and how I could compliment him. I surrounded myself with the wisdom of older Christian women and read self-help books. Before I knew it, over 6 months had passed and I was happy with myself. And I was confident enough in myself that I went out on a date with someone who didn't ask right off the bat.
I say all this to say that I think that it's important to spend time alone and discover yourself. I see too many women on Facebook complaining about ending a relationship one day and then a week or two down the line, they have a new boo. Dang girl...Spend some time alone, reject some of those gentlemen callers. You will know when the right one comes along. God will send you the truth only when you are honest with yourself.
Truthfully Yours,
Kayren
There was a period of time in my life where where I'd consider myself a slightly cold piece of clay. Huh? Let me explain. When I say cold, I don't mean ice cold without feelings, but I could do what I needed to do to avoid serious feelings. I wasn't the type that wouldn't shed a tear, I'd cry and be sad, but not for long. So that's why I say slightly cold. As far as the clay goes...I could easily mold into what someone wanted or expected me to be. But after years of this behavior, I realized that I did not know who I was. I had never taken the time to get to know me.
God got my attention after a horrible end to a relationship. I realized that I needed one on one time with myself and God as well. I wasn't sad after that relationship at all. I had a sense of relief. I took the time to discover who I was. I took myself out on dates, took long walks, and developed a pattern. I remember being at home on a Friday night and being perfectly fine with that. I remember saying no to dinner dates. I remember spending time with my family. I remember thinking about what I really wanted in a mate and how I could compliment him. I surrounded myself with the wisdom of older Christian women and read self-help books. Before I knew it, over 6 months had passed and I was happy with myself. And I was confident enough in myself that I went out on a date with someone who didn't ask right off the bat.
I say all this to say that I think that it's important to spend time alone and discover yourself. I see too many women on Facebook complaining about ending a relationship one day and then a week or two down the line, they have a new boo. Dang girl...Spend some time alone, reject some of those gentlemen callers. You will know when the right one comes along. God will send you the truth only when you are honest with yourself.
Truthfully Yours,
Kayren
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